Into Your Eyes
by Sull89
Summary: One shot. EdxWin. Ed had to tell her no, but when Winry realized why she understood that he had every right to.


"Edward," turning away, Winry grasped her forearm in a small but very noticeable gesture of apprehension, "can you look me in the eyes and honestly tell me we'll be alright?"

Drawing in a breath, the FullMetal Alchemist let it out slowly before replying, buying himself a little more time to think. Bringing his right hand up, he gently closed his metal fingers over the girl's, "Winry, you know Al and I will be alright. We always are, aren't we?"

Winry loosened the grip on her arm just enough for Ed to get the hint and let go, "Don't do that, Ed. You know that's not what I meant." Winry paused for a moment, and then wiped her palm along the bottom of her eyes to flick away the small tears, "Answer the real question, please."

Looking down, Edward covered his face with one hand for a moment before opening his mouth. When his lips parted, Winry bit her own, hoping that he would say the one thing she so desperately wanted to hear, "Please…" Clenching his flesh hand into a ball, the older Elric brother shook his head. The movement was barely perceptible, but Winry saw it. The silence within the room expanded to envelop them both, pushing with all its might, trying to get one of them to break down.

Winry caved first, shattering the oppressive quiet with a stuttered, "What… Edward? You aren't serious... you can't be serious. Ed?"

Still watching the floor, the young man in question heaved a sigh, "I can't Win'. I can't tell you that."

Echoing slightly, Winry's voice resonated through the air, "Why not?"

All of her worry and fear seemed to lead to this moment, and Winry was so afraid that this really was the end for them. Reaching for her wrench, the mechanic had wrapped her fingers around it and pulled it from her pocket before Ed could even react. As he flinched to prepare for the smack of metal against his tender flesh, it took the alchemist a minute to realize that it wasn't going to come.

Hesitantly, Ed opened his eyes, but the second he saw what lay in front of them he stopped dead. Winry's wrench lay on the ground by her feet, untended and forgotten. The girl herself had wrapped her face in her hands, but that didn't stop Ed from seeing the tears that ran down her face. Shaking, Winry tried to get herself under control, but she couldn't stop crying. Moving slightly, she placed a foot against her wrench, trying to draw comfort from the one thing in her life she knew would be constant.

For Ed, it seemed like his world was falling in around him. He had never ever meant to make Winry cry, and knowing that he had been the one to reduce her to this quivering mess was almost too much for him to bear. He struggled within himself, trying to find the right thing to say, trying to figure out how to make Winry understand. Ed's mind wouldn't function though, and as hard as he tried, the famed alchemist couldn't come up with anything.

"There must be a reason, Ed." The sound of Winry's broken voice shot through Edward's mental confusion, snapping him back to the reality of this moment, "At the very least, you owe me that." When Ed looked up, he noticed that Winry was sitting on top of a counter, but when she had moved he really did not know. Leaning against the back wall with her wrench clasped in one hand, Winry stared up at the ceiling, though even that wasn't enough to stop the tears, "You owe me."

Closing his eyes, Ed thought of everything he wanted to tell Winry, his analytical, logical, scientific mind finally kicking back in and supplying him with the needed information. Sighing, Ed slowly took the glove off his left hand and tucked it into his pocket, "Win', you're right. I do owe you." Squaring his shoulders, Edward walked over to stand in front of Winry. After a moment, he boosted himself up beside her, to sit at her right side.

"Winry, look at this," holding out both of his hands, Ed placed them in front of the girl so she could see without having to move her head. Flipping his left hand over, Edward ran his thumb along the rest of his fingers, savoring the warm sensation of touch, "You already know what's under my other glove, but sometimes I think you forget about this hand. I'm flesh and blood Win'. Even if I have automail, I'm still human," Ed paused for a moment, swallowing hard before continuing, "I want to stay that way, I want my arm and leg back." Now Ed looked down to stare at nothing, "And I _need_ to get Al his body back."

Winry finally moved, and now she leaned forward a bit and turned so she could see Ed's face. A small look of curiosity slowly grew to show through the tears; she wanted to know where Ed was going with this. "You've seen the foolish inscription I carved into my watch, you know what it is I've done, and you know what I'm doing now." Ed put his hands down, resting them in his lap, "I can't forget."

Winry waited for him to say more, but when it seemed like Ed was done talking she said something herself, "What's your point, Ed? You're right, I know all of that already, so what does it matter? You know I'll always care about you, no matter what."

"It matters Winry," Ed finally looked up, looked straight into Winry's eyes, "it matters because it's the reason I can't tell you we'll be alright." Before the automail mechanic could say anything, Ed continued, "I'm a State Alchemist in search of the Philosopher's Stone. Time and time again, be it because of my own endeavors or those of the State, I end up in danger."

"Sometimes I'm reckless, stupid even," Ed shook his head, but he kept his eyes locked firmly on Winry's, "and every so often I get myself into something I'm sure I'll never get out of." A single tear dropped from Ed's eye and worked its was down his cheek, "Through all that I've never forgotten why it is I'm doing all this, but more and more I've come to realize that I'm not immortal. None of us are."

"You do though." When Ed shot Winry a very confused look at her statement, she smiled just the tiniest bit and said, "Even if you think you'll never get out alive, you do. You're sitting here with me, aren't you? That means you've gotten out of everything you've gotten into."

"I wish." Ed placed his hands together slowly, not in a move to transmute anything, but just as a way to gather his strength, "I'm still right in the middle of everything Win'. I'm still a Dog of the Military, and I'm still searching for the Philosopher's Stone. For every two steps I move forward it's almost like I'm going one backwards."

"I can't lie to you," Ed stretched his left hand out, looking at his flesh; "I won't lie to you." Moving slowly, the FullMetal Alchemist reached over and gently took Winry's hand in one of his own, "I'm not immortal, and I'm not going to tell you we'll be alright when there is every chance I still might die because of all this."

This time Winry didn't brush off Ed's touch, she actually tightened her grip on it, "Edward, don't say that! You can't think that way!"

"Winry," the boy wrapped his fingers around hers, "I have to. If I didn't it would just lead to something worse."

"How do you figure!" Winry's cry of outrage shattered the overwhelming sense of deathbed silence in the room, "Edward Elric, why are you being so stupid? You think about dying! Why?"

"I think about it because it is a fact of life." Ed didn't raise his voice, but it carried as much force as Winry's had, "If I tried to tell myself that there's no possibility of me dying, I'd already be dead. Think on that, Win'."

Winry opened her mouth to argue again, but when she saw the look on Ed's face she sighed and placed her other hand over top of his, "Alright, I understand, you're right." She stopped to choke back a sob, "I just don't like you thinking about your own death."

"I don't like to think about it either," Ed slowly wrapped his automail arm around one leg, "but I have to. Do you get it now? I'm not going to tell you we'll be alright because I won't lie to you." The alchemist tightened the grip on his leg, "You mean too much to me." "You have no idea how much I wish I could say that, how much I want to tell you we'll be fine, "Ed brought his gaze to their intertwined fingers, "but I can't. I can't stay here, I can't give up, and I won't turn back."

"There is something though…" he paused for a moment, unsure of how to phrase what he was feeling, "if you want to hear it."

When Winry gently squeezed his hand, Ed took it as a good sigh and started to tell her what he was thinking, "Once I get things straightened out, once Al and I get our bodies back, then, well, if you still wanted…" Ed blinked a couple times, nervous about saying what was next on his mind, "Then… I think we'd be alright." He blushed slightly, "If you wanted to wait that long... You don't have to though, I'll understand if you don't."

Reaching up, Winry gently pushed on Ed's chin, lifting it up until she could look straight into his eyes, "I'll wait."

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Review please.  
-Sull 


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